death of a thousand cuts | Tufts Observer
Poetry & Prose

death of a thousand cuts

we dance around the chambers 

of my heart like strangers in the dark—

our love has always been a losing game

this place is falling apart beneath our feet, 

can’t you feel it?

i am a funeral still walking,

an empty girl in an empty room, falling through the floors

& flying into windows like a bird, 

the voice inside of me screaming, if i do it right, i’ll strike heaven

i’m sorry about the broken glass that left you bleeding

it was supposed to be me

i have always loved myself with knives in my hands 

& dreams of suicide, 

i’m at the mercy of stars

but you’re the only one screaming

i promised you the moon once

but now all i have left are my hands

you cannot save me, i will never stop guiding these blades to flesh—

& i will never be something holy

don’t wait for me, love,

the sound of sirens were crowding my mind, 

 i couldn’t shake it, so i left— 

  it felt like dying

don’t look for me,

you won’t find me inside my body,

my mind has decayed, split itself in two

rot & fungi breaking through my skin,

corpse fauna feeding off my brain,

i am a daughter of chaos—

only breeding annihilation

these cycles will begin & end

no matter where you are,

the blood is in my mouth, not yours

falling in love with me  is death of a thousand cuts

my mind has always been a coffin

but i refuse to bury you with  me