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Warning: Post-Modern When Stoned

Arts & Culture | December 6, 2009

Post-Modernism (PoMo) is an uber-serious, intellectual, meta-condition affecting approximately 25% of intellectuals, which is to say, one half of one millionth of the human population. Cannabis sativa has been shown to cause serious analytical liquidity, discursive fragmentation, and freedom from intellectual ruts/patterns—when used in combination with a Liberal Arts education. However, many find that having no established patterns of thought whatsoever leads to an inability to say much of anything. Therefore, it is not recommended to use Cannabis in the final stages of editing term papers, since you may find that your thesis is close-minded and subjective, causing a 3 a.m. crisis and revised thesis that reads something like: “Not only do I have no idea what’s going on, but I hereby posit that no one can legitimately claim to know much of anything about anything either, confirming Socrates’ realization that he was smarter than everyone by virtue of his awareness that he knew nothing—in comparison with the rest of humanity who thought they knew what they, in fact, did not.” Smoke with care when writing in the fields of philosophy, sociology, psychology, anthropology, history, English, and art or any form of cross-cultural analysis. O