an abundance of You | Tufts Observer
Poetry & Prose

an abundance of You

i am fully molded 

crafted 

contorted 

by those who have spent even just one ounce of time 

around Me. 

each quirk 

each mark 

each step I take 

was carefully choreographed in my brain 

with the most meticulous of hands 

the connections dancing through my head 

the stronger bonds beating out the weaker ones 

making sure i am full of the strongest good and the strongest bad 

that comes from those 

around Me. 

i only learned 

spanish 

because that was Your favorite language. 

i only wear 

my glasses 

because You always liked the way my cheeks would cradle them when i laughed. 

i only know about 

kinesiology 

kuh·nee·zee·aa·luh·jee 

because i never wanted the effervescent light in Your eyes to dim. 

i only drove home in a race against the sun rising 

because Your slightly crooked smile made it worth it. 

i only sat alone in Your worn-out hoodie in the back of the stands 

because You played the 9. 

slowly 

and slow 

ly 

i start to rise up again 

and grow anew 

and change into a creature more You than Me 

yet all of Me and none of You. 

smell of cigarettes and stale beer bring Me back to that humid june night 

broken table

half-used bug spray with the top tossed off 

torn white plastic lawn chairs knocked over 

tops of my musty vans barely visible over the unruly grass 

we lay intertwined on the graveled pavement 

pointing at the brightest stars peeking through the clouds. 

i thought 

we could only be young once 

but You showed Me how wrong i was. 

these fleeting instances, once the most important thing to Me 

now weathered and eroded by time and place and circumstance and all the intangibles we never before thought relevant. 

i am abundantly full, bursting at the seams with You 

and You sow in the cracks as my skin is pulled apart 

coarse and dry impact craters 

crumbling. 

Your name just happens to be the same 

as my favorite playlist to listen to 

when i think about if we never met. 

Your captivating smile and harmonious laugh 

outside the yellow house on maple street 

never fades each time i drive by 

though the door has a couple more scratches 

probably from the dog 

though the grass is a little less green 

probably from the way You could never park quite right in the driveway. 

but Your influence continues to travel the winding road 

starting at my biggest toe 

snaking around my thigh behind my back and 

up 

uP 

UP 

gently brushing each vertebra 

until it reaches the topmost freckle on my face. 

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