GTA & Lana Del Rey
when hearts restart, they don’t, really.
they just press pause
on one story mode and
create a new user profile to start another, that way,
no levels are leveled
and
just in case you can’t turn auto-save off
things won’t fall apart
entirely.
attention: this
is no Lana Del Rey shit, it WAS you, it WAS you, it WAS all for
you until you discovered some cheat codes and
rumors
became realized like re-spawnings on HALO and disks got scratched and no matter
how many times I blew…
things… were never the same, you…
were a level I won only to find out that my
memory card wasn’t plugged in the whole damn time
a video game.
a video game
is never the same after you beat it and the same goes for
after
it beats you.
some days
i still want to sit you in my white Escalade knockoff on Grand Theft Auto 5 and
drive around like real people….
digitally transport you into my
Vinewood and Red Light District reality, throw you in the backseat
and brake at stoplights, stay in the proper lane
honk
whenever a glitchy bitch of a driver cuts me off, like real people
i want
to chase you in your Lamborghini Gallardo down the coast, crossing the Palisades on some
Midnight Club mission
on some
Need for Speed shit
playing tag with our taillights and bumpers like we used to with our
toes and bare bodies, sirens
ablaze but the cops could never catch us…
even though some of the shit you did had to have been illegal in 23 states, damn, still—
the cops would never catch us.
i wish we had played more video games when we were together
but you were too busy playing other games, i see.
but that’s all right.
because I will try and convince myself that you are just another analog stick that got stuck
just
another glitch in the game, just
another flaw in the code
and when your words slip away from my memory like sand into a pixelated blue wave on Los Santos beach
i will remember
that no matter how many times my
screen reads ‘wasted’;
games were made to be played over, and over again
and no matter how sore my fingers are
when I reach the big boss and my life points are low
when I take
the hardest hit man mission and get found out
when I crash into the island on the longest race of the course
instead of pressing pause, I’ll take a deep breath and keep playing and rather than pressing ‘start’ I’ll push
‘START’ on my heart like a defibrillating son of a gun because my fingers
are too fast and my skill
is too real and my eyes
are too blurry to play forever.
because when hearts restart, they don’t, really.
they just press pause
on one story mode and
create a new user profile to start another, that way,
no levels are leveled
and just in case you can’t turn auto save off,
things won’t fall apart
entirely.
