if you only use this bathroom to shit in private don’t use this bathroom
Dear members of the Tufts community,
About a month ago, we left a little note for you in the Campus Center gender-neutral bathroom. We know you saw it, but just for a little refresher, it said: “If you only use this bathroom to shit in private, don’t use this bathroom.” In response to this, one of you wrote “college boy gotta nut.” It was painted over, so we wrote it again. Sadly, it was painted over again. And even still, it seems like you just didn’t get the message. So we’re gonna spell it out for you.
Gender-neutral bathrooms exist for a specific reason and purpose, and that purpose is certainly not for cisgender people who get stage fright trying to poop. And they are especially not for “college boys” who “gotta nut” (as one of you wrote to us on the wall). When Tufts built this bathroom, it was after years of organizing and serious pressure from the trans and non-binary community on this campus. And even still, after nearly a decade, we only have one (1) stall.
We had to fight so hard for this little bathroom.
This bathroom was built after numerous students wrote petitions and met with administrators again and again after continuously being told that what they were asking for wasn’t possible. We were told that Tufts “can’t afford the construction.” News flash: the SMFA campus has multi-stall gender-neutral bathrooms that required no monetary investment, and they didn’t even need to take out the urinals. News flash: Tufts had the money to pay Tony Monaco $1,126,248 in 2016, but didn’t have the money for… a bathroom?
The gender-neutral bathroom in the campus center was built last year. And yes, the sign says “Any person of any gender identity can use this bathroom,” but please remember that this is the only toilet that most trans and non-binary students can use in the whole building. Meanwhile, there are over a dozen toilets in the campus center for cis people to use, including multi-stall women’s and men’s bathrooms on both floors of the CC. The men’s and women’s rooms are only feet away from our gender-neutral stall. Other bathrooms that we can use, though, are much further away.
Some of us used to walk all the way home or to Tisch (and we know you all use those gender-neutral bathrooms too) every time we had to pee. Either that, or we would go into the gendered bathrooms that made us sick to our stomachs to enter. And now we have to wait—-sometimes up to 20 minutes—-for students and staff, who have never once considered this reality, to finish pooping in private.
Imagine being late for class, missing a meeting, pacing around the campus center trying not to piss your pants, etc. all because you needed to use the bathroom. Imagine, then, having to beg the administration for years to do that. What you all seem to be failing to understand is that every time you use this space, you’re actually adding another hurdle to the obstacle course that is trying to pee while trans.
The moral of the story is that we only have one toilet. Please just let us have this one toilet.
Also, like, what are you even doing in there for so long? Here are some of our guesses.
- Googling what “gender-neutral” means?
- Flexing in the mirror?
- Filling your gallon water jug?
- Watching the big game? (we’ve heard it on your phones through the wall while waiting for you to leave)
- Taking 20 minutes to poop? If it’s this one, boys, we’re worried for your intestinal health. Please eat some fiber. Try Pure for Men™. To put it in terms that your toxic masculinity will understand––we highly doubt it takes you this long to “nut,” so we have to assume you’re just backed up.
Maybe if you went to class instead of masturbating in the campus center you’d be smart enough to understand why you shouldn’t be doing this. Okay, maybe we’re harping on the whole masturbation thing, but you were the ones who wrote that you “gotta nut” on the bathroom wall. Did you really think we weren’t gonna say anything?
Well, we’ve said the things we wanted to say. But we’re worried you might just still not get it. So let’s review.
Who is this bathroom not for?
- The OCL staff
- Cis athlete boys who don’t want to poop next to other boys :(
- Cis gays (yes, you too)
- Touring parents
- Literally anyone who can use any of the other FOUR multi-stall gendered bathrooms in the campus center
Who is this bathroom for?
- The trans and non-binary people who fought for it, and who literally don’t have anywhere else to pee
To be clear, we know that the lines around gender identity are not so clear cut, and the last thing we want to do is to alienate people who don’t feel comfortable in gendered bathrooms or who just don’t know. We know it’s not you all that are misusing this space. It is, however, extremely obvious that this bathroom is being overused by cis people who just like it better—who want the privacy that, frankly, they don’t actually need.
Basically, the litmus test is this:
If you only use this bathroom to shit in private, don’t use this bathroom. <3