you said it as if you were trying it out: as if those words were
round and had a radius just taller than your mouth, as if you were making
space for them, deliberately, intentionally. in a way that i knew you meant them, you held them
like an uncracked egg.
the other day i had a flashback, the trigger was just that i couldn’t pick music, and i was mostly naked and
crouching on your floor scrolling through spotify, in your house that runs probably at 60 degrees which is Not
Too Cold when we are in bed together, or in the mornings when the sun has beat the house gently for a few
hours before we’ve woken up.
i love you had to come after all that, of course
it did, that day i was crouching and you were
so different, you didn’t care at all what music
i played. you didn’t scoff or hurl “Really??” too loudly
across the room at me when i suggested something
a little off center. and when all of sudden it was him
and not you in the room, and i never cry anymore but
i started to, and the tears were so loud against
your comforter, you said what i needed, and then
it wasn’t too much to ask for a tissue even though
neither of us has an easy time getting out of your bed,
and when you came back you held me until
i felt un-cracked again.